The Seat of the Terrible Ache
by csipal
Summary: Post Ep for Living Doll. GSR


A/N: Very, very short post-ep for Living Doll. Thanks to phdelicious for the beta. This was the first time I've had someone other than Laura Katharine read it over for me in a long time. I feel bad – I should have warned her about my problem with tenses ... oops :S And I'm rusty, so please forgive me if this sucks.

* * *

"Gil, we'll take it from here."

Grissom didn't have the strength to argue with Brass, he knew continuing the interrogation with Natalie would be futile. She was already lost and he didn't have the luxury of time to sift through her psychosis for questionable information. It was clear that she couldn't give him what he needed, even though she'd been the one to take it away.

His legs moved slowly, though every cell within him was bouncing around, waiting for release. It was an odd feeling for him. Slow and sluggish collided with fast and frenzied - he was sure this was the beginning of an anxiety attack. Or maybe it was the inner rage that he felt for Natalie Davis. He'd enjoyed shaking her by the shoulders a little too much, and if the door to the interrogation room hadn't shut behind him when it did, he was positive he'd turn around and do it again.

He needed to stop. Stop moving, stop thinking, just ... stop. The heels of his hands found his eyes as he leaned against the wall opposite the door. Grissom had never believed that nightmares could come true. Sure, in his line of work, he knew about the horrible hand that fate dealt, but there was always a level of detachment when dealing with victims. Bad things could happen to anyone, but Sara wasn't just anyone.

She was Sara. Sara. His life.

He idly wondered if Sara would be upset or amused that he'd let the team in on their precious secret. He hadn't realized he'd let it slip until several minutes later. Months ago, the thought of revealing their relationship had terrified him. Keeping the secret of their love between the two of them had given him the illusion of perfection - their love life in a bubble - but the painful reality of this day gave him truth.

Bubbles pop.

"Hey," Catherine said quietly, placing a soft hand on his elbow to signal her presence. "How did it go?"

Lowering his hands from his face, he slowly shook his head. "She won't tell me where Sara is."

"I'm sorry."

"That mini could be from anywhere. I don't know what to do - I don't know where to start looking." His voice carried a slightly desperate tone that worried Catherine.

"We start like we would for any other case - we're gonna need a time line." Catherine took her place beside him, leaning against the wall. "When was the last time you spoke with Sara?"

"I...I don't know. Once we started getting solid leads, it was all about the case. It was a mutual understanding we had, because cases end - they don't last forever." He gave her a sideways look and chuckled mirthlessly. "Except this one, right? This woman killed time and time again - an innocent man died for her, and I couldn't figure it out. She was under our noses - working _here_!"

His outburst caught the attention of an officer at the end of the hall. Catherine waived him off, silently assuring him that things were under control.

"Damn it, Cath. I handed Sara right over to her."

"This isn't your fault."

"I was so close. I almost had her, but not before she took Sara."

"_We _were close, Gil. Natalie-"

He abruptly cut her off with a sharp look. "Don't say her name to me."

"She's extremely unstable, there's no way to understand her reasoning for things."

He shook his head and Catherine knew that there was no way she could relieve his guilt. They needed to find Sara and find her alive, or she could very well lose her best friend, too.

"Who's doing what right now?" Grissom asked.

"Greg and Hodges are seeing what they can get from the mini. She was very particular about the accuracies of the previous crime scenes. We're hoping that maybe she used some materials from the area where she staged this one." Grissom didn't respond. He only stared at the door that separated him from the woman responsible for all of this.

"Nick...Nick is on the phone with truck rentals and towing companies to see if she rented a vehicle to transport the mustang. You know, everyone is upset-"

"They would record mileage," Grissom said, cutting off anything Catherine was about say. "That would give us search a radius."

Catherine gave him a sad smile before continuing, knowing that this was quickly becoming too much for him. "Warrick is with Sofia. She called him to process the suspect's place."

"I want to be there."

"No you don't. There are ... pictures, sketches."

"Of Sara?"

She nodded. "And of you. You and Sara...how long?"

"Not long enough," he replied softly, regretfully. "You know, I called her earlier and she didn't answer. I ended up leaving her a message letting her know that I wouldn't see her until she came in for her shift. That was when you and I were leaving to visit Rainone. I thought she could have been asleep or in the shower." His arms started to shake and he couldn't keep the waiver out of his voice. "She could have been under a car."

"God, Gil." Catherine turned to face him and grabbed his hands. "We're going to find her."

"I don't want her hurt. She's got a _car_ on top her and she's alone."

"We're going to find her," she insisted.

"It's raining."

Catherine said a quick prayer for both of her friends, realizing that Natalie might have just killed two people instead of one.

"We're going to find her."


End file.
